Close to lose it all ✌
Dear reader,
I’m suicidal and depressed, everyone thinks I’m faking it and just making the whole thing up.
I can’t confront people, if I try to, I’ll break down and cry, and that’s the last thing I want.
I’ve been avoiding this question for a really long time. More like, two or three years.
I’m sure some people have gotten mad because of it. To answer the question; Yes, I have harmed myself in many ways. Why? It’s the only fucking way I could release my stress, pain and feel free for a moment. Just let it all out. I’m not proud of that, but it’s an addiction. Once you’ve started, you cannot stop. I’ve tried staying clean, but it’s like a smoker to be without his cigarettes, you understand?
I can't stand the feeling of loving someone, that you know doesn't love you back.
I'm still alive only because of you. You lightens my day up. I can't stand this anymore. Why can't I love you and be loved back?
I’m tired. I’m sick and tired of being forced to fake a smile every day. I’m sick and tired of being forced to be out socializing when I can sit in my room and just ignore everyone.
Music is the only thing that takes me away from this awful place (if we don’t count self harm).
Love
Lucy x
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